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New York Yankees to Lose Their Name Under Order of the Supreme Court

Following a slate of lawsuits regarding the names of sports teams and various sensitivities, the New York Yankees are being sued and may be ordered by the courts to lose the word “Yankees” from their team name.

Recently there has been a slate of suits regarding the names of sports teams and those they offend. It began with the ACLU and the American Indians suing the Atlanta Braves over the Tomahawk Chop and even their very name, the Braves. Now the Cleveland Indians are under a similar suit to change their name as well. Three weeks ago, PETA and the Humane Society filed suit against the Detroit Lions, claiming that having the name of the lion applied to such a losing team was disparaging and denigrating to such a noble animal and have asked the courts to order the team to change its name.

In a surprise move yesterday, the Mississippi Rebels announce that in an effort to heal the final wounds from the civil war they would be changing their name and would no longer use term “rebel,” as they felt it caused divisions between the North and South. Late yesterday, they filed suit against the New York Yankees asking that they remove the word Yankee from their team name, as they felt it was too painful to southern teams to lose again and again to Yankees. “It just keeps bringing back painful memories of the our first loss to the original Yankees, in which our states were overrun with Northern vermin, and we believe it’s time to heal and put this behind us,” said a spokesperson from Old Miss.

Apparently, the Supreme Court has seen merit and these suits and today announced that they would be taking the case to settle the matter once and for all. They have agreed to step in, and the consensus is that they are leaning to the side of healing and reconciliation and plan to strip the New York Yankees of their name, as well all sports teams named after anything having to do with the American Indian or Animals. Chief Justice John G. Roberts was recently asked about this, saying, “This is among the most heinous of matters, and we plan to clearly expose this for what it is: an April Fool’s joke.” Thus, the name of the Yankees will stand, at least for the time being. However, there is no telling what the future may bring. We hope you have all enjoyed this little hoax in accordance with nature of this day. Happy April Fool’s Day everyone.



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